Using a strap on can be a fun and unique way to explore your sexuality and deepen your connection with your partner/s, regardless of genders. They can open a whole new world of intimacy and pleasure. So lets get started..
First you need to figure out what type of harness and dildo you want, things to take into consideration are materials, style and who will be wearing the harness. Have an open conversation and do some research into what you think you’d prefer when it comes to materials and style. If both/all will be wearing the harness at some stage, be mindful to get a style that will suit all involved.
THE STYLE
There are two main styles of harness, the Jock Strap and the G String. Jock strap harnesses can leave the wearer feeling more exposed and open to play while the G-string harness can stimulate the groin area. Some feel they get better support from the jock strap and others say they prefer less straps and the G-string suits them better so the style is entirely up to personal preference.
The Materials
Budget definitely comes into play when picking what materials you want your harness to be made from. Perhaps you don’t care and just want whatever is cheapest? That’s fine! Just be mindful that when it comes to strap on harnesses, quality does make a difference.
Most harnesses are made from polyester, faux leather and nylon webbing but Love in Leather also have silicone and leather harnesses. Silicone is easy to clean and care for and is less likely to cause chafing. The leather harness from Love in Leather is only available in the jock strap style, it is so soft and luxurious, if you’re a leather bunny this is a no brainer.
THE DILDO
Some harnesses come in kits with dildos and some have adjustable ring attachments. If you don’t have any dildos you already have, it’s a good idea to pick your harness first and then see what dildo will suit. Love in Leathers silicone range of harnesses are available in sets with a screw in dildo and other style dildos are available to purchase separately. When it comes to size, its helpful to think of your fingers, how many can you fit? 1? 2? Do you want more? A fist? Use that as your gauge and be cautious of your eyes being bigger than your… stomach… you don’t want to be uncomfortable.
YOU’VE GOT YOUR HARNESS & DILDO… NOW WHAT?
Initially it can feel a little awkward wearing and using a strap on, if you don’t have a penis it helps to put on your harness and dildo and just walk around. It might seem a little strange but it helps get the feeling for your new appendage.
When you’re ready to use your new toys make sure you clean them first and have lubricant near by, its also a good idea to use condoms on the dildo if you plan on sharing the toy or switching between anal and vaginal penetration (new hole, new rubber). Get your harness on nice and tight and you’re good to go.
PARTING WORDS OF WISDOM
It may seem silly to mention but the dildo has no nerve endings and is not actually attached to you, meaning you won’t know what your partner is feeling. As with all play make sure you keep open and honest communication. Check what is working for them and what’s not, after all if its not pleasurable, what’s the point?
With all toys, clean and store correctly.
Written by Jordan Hill in collaboration with Sex Talk With Jordan.